Learning to Walk Again
by TwinTurbo
Summary: We all know that the future never quiet turns out like we plan, no matter how hard we try. Well Kensi and Deeks are no exception to the rule. A look into one of the ways things could have happened.
1. Chapter 1

_We all know that the future never quiet turns out like we plan, no matter how hard we try. Well Kensi and Deeks are no exception to the rule. A look into one of the ways things could have happened. Something a little different. Let me know what you think._

**Learning to Walk Again**

Chapter 1

Deeks was sitting in bar downtown with a buddy from work. They had been working long hours and needed a beer or two to unwind and escape from the office bullshit they had to deal with.

Lucas Mitchell was a tall good looking guy around the same age as Deeks. He was married with three children and had a beautiful wife, Sarah, who kept him on the straight and narrow. This woman didn't take crap from anyone, least of all her husband. Deeks would be over for dinner at least once a week or to watch the kids when Lucas and Sarah needed a night out.

Tonight however the two men just wanted nothing more than to knock back a few brews and talk a little round ball. About an hour into a heated discussion on who would and could kick the others butt in a game of one on one, Lucas looked over Deeks' shoulder and noticed a rather attractive woman looking, no, staring at him. At first he thought he was mistaken, but whenever Lucas looked over, there she was looking at them, well actually he figured it was more 'him' than 'them', given she could only see the back of Deeks' head.

"Deeks, there's a hot brunette a few tables back and she keeps staring over at me. I'm pretty sure she's been eyeing me for a while. Should I go over and buy her a drink?"

"Well if you want your life to end when Sarah finds out, go ahead."

"Come on Deeks, a little support here. I maybe married, but I'm not dead yet. What could it hurt to just talk to her? Besides, how is Sarah goin' to find out?"  
>"Easy, I'm the one that's going to tell her. Come on Lucas, if this girl actually thinks you're good looking, you better check and see if she has a Seeing Eye dog with her."<p>

Deeks smiled and drained the glass of its remaining liquid.

"Ha ha. Very funny, but she's coming over and I bet she's goin' to ask ME to have a drink with HER."

"You're on. Steak dinner, next week." Deeks replied.

"Done." Lucas said as he smiled at the lady approaching him.

Before he could say a word, she spoke and killed any hope Lucas had of a free meal.

"Deeks? Is that you?"

He recognized the voice immediately, turning slowly to face her.

"Kensi. It's been along time." His tone was even and sedate.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Lucas was dumbfounded.

"Yes, she was my partner many years ago, when I was working with NCIS. How long has it been?"

"Almost five years, I think. Seems like a life time."

Kensi studied Deeks closely. He was still handsome with his blue eyes and blonde hair. The scruff was trimmed and neat but the face was gaunt. His smile held no life and the eyes, well… they were flat without shine, like they once had.

Lucas could see how the two were looking at each other and he knew that they not only had history but something else was there, something that still lived on under the surface. Deeks hadn't taken his eyes off her since she arrived at the table and she was locked on to his. He seemed to be mesmerized by her, almost trance like. After a second or two Deeks snapped out it and realized he should make the introductions.

"Oh I'm sorry. Kensi this is a very good friend of mine, Lucas Mitchell. We work together over at LAPD. We run the undercover ops among other things."

Putting out her hand she finished the introduction "Kensi Blye, Special Agent NCIS, nice to meet you Lucas."

Taking her hand and still trying to recover from the shock, Lucas gently shook it saying "My pleasure Kensi. So you two were partners? "

"Yes we were…. Pretty good partners too." Kensi' last words were low and soft but still loud enough to be heard by both men.

Lucas knew he was now the proverbial third wheel, so it was time for him to exit.

"Well Marty, I would love to stay and hear all the great stories you two certainly have, but I'm already late for dinner and I really don't want to get on Sarah's bad side before the weekend even starts. So I'm off. Kensi, great to meet you and you I will see on Monday." Lucas pointed at Deeks before he stood to leave.

Kensi nodded as he got up and walked out of the bar. Looking back down at Deeks she could feel the tension between them and was glad when he spoke first.

"Why don't you sit for a minute and tell me how you're doing."

Kensi was hoping that he would ask her to stay, so she happily sat down.

They had long since stopped being partners, friends or anything else for that matter, but for some reason she still was drawn to him. What she had felt for him those many years ago could not be denied.

"How have you been Marty? Things at LAPD seem to be working out well for you."

Deeks was taking a good look at her. She was still just as beautiful as the last day he saw her those many years ago. Her body was fit and trim, maybe a little too lean for his liking but still a knockout in any one's book. She didn't seem to age at all, however something about her was off. It was the eyes. But what about them?

He broke contact, looked down at his empty glass and asked "Would you like a drink? I'm buying."

"Beer's fine, thank-you."

Raising his arm he motioned to the bartender that they needed two beers.

"I've been better, but all and all, I can't complain. How is Jack and life at NCIS?"

There was no bitterness in his voice when he said the man's name.

He noted a slight twitch at the sound of Jack's name and waited to see how she would respond.

"It turned into a little more than just a mission to save him and his daughter. It got pretty crazy there at times. We were fighting the Taliban on one front and sometimes our own, well CIA assholes, if you can call them the good guys, on the other front." She looked at her hands and then continued.

"We got close again." She looked up at him to see his reaction. There was none.

"I think only because of the situation we were in more than anything else; keeping each other alive. I stayed overseas for another two years once I got them settled and I knew it would be safe for them. I came back home and Hetty welcomed me back." She was going to say something more but thought better of it.

"I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out."

She knew he was trying to be sincere, but his eyes didn't show any emotion, they seemed empty.

The beers arrived and Deeks took a long pull from the bottle.

Kensi was looking down at the bottle, peeling the label as she asked "How about you? Is there anyone special in your life?" She had an idea of his recent history, but she wasn't sure how things were going and if he had started seeing someone recently.

He looked off into space and for a second; he was _a million miles away,_ lost in thought. Kensi watched him closely and waited. He brought his eyes back to meet hers before speaking.

"I was serious with a lady for a few years but the undercover assignments eventually took there toll on the relationship. It was just too much for her. I didn't like seeing her worrying and upset when I was called to duty."

"That's too bad. What about Monty?" She asked with a little sadness in her voice, guessing the answer to that question.

"I had to put him down about two years back."

"I'm so sorry. That must have been devastating. I know how much you loved him."

"It was his time. He became very sick near the end so it was the right thing to do."

She raised her beer bottle and offered a toast "To Monty."

They clinked bottle necks and drank to their favourite four legged companion.

Looking at one another they realized that so much still hung in the air between them and that neither one of them had fully moved on.

Kensi knew she had plenty to talk to him about, but seeing him again had opened the flood gates of feeling and memories she thought had long since died and had been buried. She knew that if they were ever going to truly heal they needed to get their issues resolved. Yes they still had a few lingering items that needed closure and she wanted to start the process.

It didn't end well all those years ago when she left for Afghanistan and had she handled it differently they wouldn't be here in this bar, feeling awkward and wondering how things could have been.

Kensi was just about to tell him that they should get together and talk things out and put the past behind them when she noticed his eye was twitching.

"Are you okay Deeks?"

"Yeah, just a little headache. With all the shit going down at work I pretty much have one a day. I take Tylenol like candy.

Listen Kensi, it was really great seeing you again, but I need to go."

"Yeah….sure, I'm sorry I... I didn't mean to keep you." She was taken a back by his sudden urgency to leave. She knew he was not comfortable with her and she expected that, but they only had one beer. She had hoped for more time together.

He stood and threw a few bills on the table, nodded to her saying "Take care of yourself."

Before she could get her response out he had already turned and was walking away from her.

"Yeah, you too." She said softly to the figure moving away from her. Sitting back down she didn't know whether to cry or scream, so she just sat and watched him exit the bar. As she finished her beer she remembered how Nell had warned her. 'Don't expect him to greet you with open arms. He's had a long time to move on with his life and he doesn't need old wounds torn open again.' Nell begged her not to see him again, but still Kensi had to try. There was too much that was left unsaid and now seeing him after all those years, she knew that they needed to talk this out and put the past behind them.

Kensi didn't want to re-start their relationship again. She just wanted her old friend back.

It had been too long and she needed him back in her life. Was she being selfish? She sure was. But he was the only man that knew her better than anyone else, even better than she knew herself sometimes and she wanted him in her future, so she was going to fight for his friendship. One thing she did learned when she was overseas and away from Deeks and the rest of the team was that true friends and people you can trust implicitly are very hard to find. She had made up her mind that from now on Kensi Blye was going to run to them instead of away from them.

* * *

><p>Walking out of the bar the cool night air caressed his face and it felt good. Between the headache and seeing Kensi again, it was too much to handle. He never really moved on from their partnership, friendship, quasi relationship, whatever it was. He tried, he did his best to find someone to spend his life with but it wasn't as easy as you would think. The dating scenario was complicated at best with undercover work always happening at the wrong time. He had his fill of one night stands and relationships took a lot of work and effort. Furthermore stability in his life was non-existent and that was the driving factor. At least that is what he told himself.<p>

Deeks needed to think about this 'chance encounter' with Kensi, but his headache wasn't getting any better. He decided to head for the beach and take a long walk. Maybe the sea air would help with his head and clear his mind enough to figure out what she really wanted tonight.

Of course he could always call Nell and try and charming her into telling him, but that wasn't going to happen. So a long walk it was and since Monty was no longer there to keep him company, it would be a little lonelier as well.

As he walked he began to remember the beginning of the end of their partnership all those many years ago.

"_Deeks, I'm trying to make this work. What's the matter with you?" They were in his apartment finally opening up about their relationship and what the future was going to hold._

_Looking at her he could only see the depth he had sank to protect her, to hold her and keep her safe. All he ever wanted was to be with her, but now that was turning into an obsession._

_He was actually so afraid of losing her that at times he couldn't think straight and this was one of those times. She was speaking but he couldn't hear her. She was moving around the room, but he couldn't see her. His mind was locked on the thought of her becoming the only reason for him to live. How could one woman have such a hold on him?_

_He had wished for this day. He had wanted this day to come and he had worked hard for this day when they could admit and talk openly about their "thing", but now that's it here….. _

_He snapped out of his mini trance just as Kensi was ending her one sided conversation to hear her say:_

"_I can't do this tonight, Deeks. I just can't. You need to figure out what you want."_

_With that she grabbed her jacket and left. _

_Was he over thinking this? Ever since he heard about the three hearts he had been fixated on this and how Kensi had become his life._

_Would he behave that way if something really did happen to Kensi? He came close in Afghanistan. Would it be worse the next time around?_

_He needed to pull back, regroup and take this a littler slower, that's why he returned the knife. It was her turn; she would just need to be patient with him now._

As Deeks returned to his car, he sat for a moment, with his eyes closed and his head down trying to clear his mind before starting the engine and slowly driving off to an empty house and another restless night.

A lone figure stood in the shadows watching intently. As Deeks drove past he thought he saw something move but couldn't be sure. He just chalked it up to his headache and the general mood he was in. Giving his head a little shake, he continued to drive without so much as a second thought as the man in the shadows looked on intently.


	2. Chapter 2

**Learning to Walk Again**

Chapter 2

Deeks had his eyes closed and was rubbing his left temple. The reports were becoming too much to handle as of late and he wished he was still out in the field. His desk looked like a bomb just went off and scattered paper everywhere. He felt like he was living only on coffee and junk food and that a good meal was but a distant memory. He had been on, correction, is still on, a long road that just kept going with no end in sight but the scenery was always the same. Something had to change. Something had to give, he couldn't continue as he was. His 'chance meeting' with Kensi last week had started him thinking and he needed to take stock of his current life situation. He needed to make a decision about his career, which didn't really pan out like he hoped, and his personal life, which was completely in the toilet. Time is a funny thing, it sneaks up on you and then one day - BANG – you find that life is passing you by and you're watching it from the side lines. Well he wasn't going to let that happen.

But first things first; the reports needed to be done. Today, for some reason, was especially bad. He couldn't seem to concentrate on the task at hand and the faint ringing in his ear wasn't making it any easier. He rolled his neck a few times and opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling to try and regain some focus. He must be staring at the computer screen too long because his vision was becoming blurry and he even was seeing double at times.

There was a light knock on his open door so he looked to his right to find out who it was.

Standing in the door way was none other than NCIS Special Agent Kensi Blye with a small smile on her face.

"I was wondering if I could take you lunch today? I happened to be down the block following up on a case so I decided to see if you were available."

Deeks smiled back as he looked at her. Damn, he thought to himself, she was still so beautiful and with her body, the tight jeans and fitted shirt open to the middle of her chest, he was sure every guy in the place had just tripped over their tongues when she walked by.

"Actually I was just thinking about you."

"You were, were you? In a PG kind of way or was it something a little more R rated?"

As she spoke, she intentionally ran her thumb along the inside of her shirt stopping her hand at the button above her breasts. This immediately drew his eyes exactly to that location and caused him to widen his smile and slowly look away, shaking his head. She had become more playful over the years and it was nice to see.

"PG Blye, if you must know." He replied.

She grinned knowing she had rattled him a little.

Deeks really wanted to know what was going on. "Well since you came all this way, how can I refuse your offer? What did you have in mind?"

"I know of a great burger place about two blocks from here. Best cheese burger for miles and the milk shakes are heaven. Interested?"

"Lead the way. I could use some fresh air and a real lunch for a change."

He grabbed his jacket and started to walk out with Kensi. From the looks he was getting, the guys were definitely going to give him a hard time about Kensi and he was sure the rumour mill was already running at full speed. Now Kensi, never one to miss an opportunity, started to sway her hips just a little more than usual and managed to flip her long hair back with her hand not once but twice before she made it to the exit. Couple all that with her smile from ear to ear, well poor Deeks was going to hear it from his fellow officers for a long time to come. Laughing and shaking his head he just reached for his sunglasses, put them on and walked into the mid day sun staring at one of the best butts he had ever seen.

"Very nice Kensi, very nice."  
>"What exactly are you complimenting me on?" She knew exactly what he was looking at and what he was talking about and it made her feel good on both counts. She slowed her pace and let him pull up beside her. They walked in silence for a bit, coming close to bumping shoulders but never quite making contact.<p>

"Do you still trust me Deeks?" The question took him completely off guard. He didn't know how to answer her.

Thankfully she continued before it became awkward. "Cause I want to order for you when we get to the restaurant."

He didn't expect that, but okay. "Yeah, sure. Please be my guest."

"Great. You won't regret it."

They completed the short walk in silence, both thinking about the other and how this was going to play out.

Sitting at one of the tables next to the window, they made a little small talk while they waited for the food. Kensi had her arm resting on the table playing with her chocolate milkshake when Deeks reached over and placed his hand over her wrist. She looked up and locked on to his eyes, waiting for him to say something. Her heart rate jumped as the physical contact was very surprising but more than welcomed.

"Kensi, what is going on? I'm getting too old to play games. We did this many years ago and look what happened. If you have something to say or ask me, please just do it. When we saw each other last week, it looked like you had something on your mind. Now you showup and take me to lunch with a lame excuse that you were in the area. Come on, what's up?"

"Wow. Direct or what? Not really what I expected." She cleared her throat and jumped in. "But you're right I should tell you why I wanted to see you. We have been friends for along time. Maybe not as close over the last few, well more than a few years I guess." Stumbling a little, she pressed on. "Okay, I already asked you if you still trusted me and since you let me order lunch I will take that as a yes."

She was looking straight at him and didn't move her arm allowing him to keep holding her wrist. The contact felt good and it did bring back memories of good days and better times. Something she needed and longed for.

"So why the lunch?"

See looked down for the first time and placed her other hand over his hand before saying "I really wanted to see you again and just have a quite meal together, just us. The quick drink at the bar wasn't enough time for me."

Now Deeks was becoming concerned. This is very strange behaviour from Kensi.

"Are you okay? I mean, nothing is wrong, right? You're feeling healthy, right?"

She was so taken at how worried he was about her that she blushed a little. Looking into his eyes she assured him she was healthy.

"I'm fine Deeks, really. Thank you for your concern."

He relaxed and took a drink from his shake. He didn't want to explore any of the horrible thoughts that ran through his head. He rubbed his hands over his face trying to clear his mind of those images.

"Good! But you do have something on your mind."

Just as Kensi was about to reply, the burgers arrived and the subject changed.

"If they tasted half as good as they looked, they are going to be amazing." Taking a bite he realized how wickedly good they actually were. His eyes opened wide as he nodded his head in approval.

"You see, I told you they're great."

"Yes you did." He replied between bites. Taking a long pull on the milkshake he experienced the legendary brain freeze. Squeezing the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes tight, he waited for the pain to pass. Funny thing was it felt just like one of his more severe headaches.

"You alright Deeks?"

"Yeah…yeah, give me second. Drank too fast."

At that moment his phone rang and from the look on his face, Kensi knew the lunch was over.

"I need to take this. I'm sorry."

Deeks stood and moved away from the table taking the call.

He was back within seconds and leaned on the back of the chair with an apologetic look on his face.

"Hate to eat and run but the shit just hit the proverbial fan and I need to get to a crime scene across town."

"Duty calls, I guess."  
>She was visibly dejected that he had to leave and Deeks could see it. She had something that was eating at her and Deeks knew it.<p>

"Listen Kens, I know you wanted to talk, so maybe we can grab dinner one night, my treat. Would that be alright?"

"Sure, that would be nice." She half smiled and nodded as she stood to walk out with him.

Just outside the restaurant as they turned up the street toward the station, Deeks stumbled and fell to the sidewalk.

"Deeks are you alright?" She reached for his arm helping him up and looking into his eyes she noticed he seemed confused and disorientated.

"Can I you going with me."  
>"Deeks! What are you saying?"<br>He was visibly confused, searching with his eyes for some clue as to what was going on and where he was. Kensi had him, holding him up with her arm around his waist and his arm over her shoulder.

She now knew that Deeks hadn't stumbled, that it was something a lot more serious. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her phone and dialled Ops.

"Kensi, what's up?" Eric was his usual cheery self as he answered the call.

"Eric, I need paramedics now at my location."  
>"Why are you hurt, shot?"<br>"It's not me, its Deeks. He is having some type of episode, or stoke, or seizure. We need help."

"Deeks? What the…?"

Kensi cut him off before he could finish. "Just get EMS here fast."

"Yeah, on it. Just sit tight."

Kensi was still holding him and managed to move him to a bench and sit him down. She checked his pulse and ran her hand over his face trying to get him to focus on her.

"Deeks, talk to me. What's wrong? Can you hear me?"  
>His face was scrunched up and he was looking up to the sky and not at her. "I can't hear you. I can't hear you Kens." He was actually dizzy, almost to the point of throwing up.<p>

"Deeks, if you can't hear me just look at me." Kensi knew something was very wrong and she was starting to panic. "Please look at me. Help will be here soon."

The sound of sirens could now be heard getting closer and she took a deep breath as she held him close, talking to him, brushing his hair off his face, trying to comfort him. What else could she do for him?

"You're going to be okay. Just stay with me. Come on look at me Marty. Focus, please focus."

As he turned his head to face her, his eyes rolled up and into the back of his head. He blacked out and slumped on to her shoulder.

The tires screeched to a halt as the ambulance stopped at the curb next to the bench. Two paramedics rushed out and set-up their gear to tend to the patient.

"What happened?"

"We were walking when he suddenly stumbled and became incoherent."

They had Deeks laid out on the sidewalk and were checking his vital signs getting him ready to transport.

Kensi just stood back and watched as they worked on him. Before she could tell them he was a cop they found his gun and reacted.

"Jim this guy has a gun."  
>"Yeah, it's okay, he's a cop and I'm a federal agent. Give me the gun." She held out her credentials and extended her hand to take the weapon.<p>

They worked on the detective for several minute. Saying very little, mostly medical terms until they stabilized him.

"He's ready to go. You riding with us?"

"Yes."

They loaded Deeks into the vehicle and Kensi climbed in behind him. She sat next to him and took his hand. "Listen to me Deeks. You're going to be alright. You're not getting out of buying me dinner this easy, you hear me. As soon as you're better, we 're going out for steaks." Her attempt at humour came off feeble and odd, but she wasn't thinking clearly. Her mind was unravelling at record speed and she couldn't focus on anything except her ex-partner. This time, no matter what, she wasn't going to leave him alone in the hospital.

Standing in the waiting area she held his badge once again, like she did all those years ago when he had been shot. Memories flashed through her mind of that event but what stood out the most and kept replaying over and over again was the fact that even with two bullet holes in his chest, Deeks still managed to drag himself out of bed and save her life. How many times had he saved her over the course of their partnership? Before she could delve into that line of thought, her phone rang.

"Yeah Callen."

"What's going on Kensi? Are you with Deeks?" The last half of that statement sounded more incredulous than it was supposed to.

"We're at the hospital. The doctors are with him now. I have no idea what happened. He just went down as we were walking back to the station. Get Eric to call his Captain and tell them were we are. He was responding to a call to get to a crime scene so they will be wondering where he is."

"Have the doctors said anything yet?"  
>"No, I'm still waiting for some news. They may not even tell me anything, Callen. I'm not his next of kin."<p>

"Don't worry, I know who to call. Sit tight and keep us posted."

Kensi was surprised how concerned Callen was. Deeks had left NCIS years ago, yet G still treated this as if one of his agents was involved.

Within five minutes a middle aged female doctor with a nurse in tow, approached Kensi and the look on the doctor's face told Kensi to brace herself for bad news.

"Are you here for Detective Deeks?"

"Yes, I'm his partner, Special Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS ." She lied, she had to. Kensi wanted information and she wanted it first hand from the doctor in charge.

"Agent Blye, I'm Dr. Erika Noslo, how are you partners if he is LAPD?"

"LAPD liaison to NCIS. How is he?" More lies, but she couldn't stop now. Like the saying goes 'In for a penny, in for a pound'.  
>Dr. Noslo stared at Kensi for a moment deciding whether or not to speak to her, but when she looked at Kensi, the doctor could see the concern on her face, so she relented, giving Kensi the early prognosis.<p>

"We are going to run a brain scan. There seems to be some pressure creating this problem. We need to identify what we are dealing with."

"How long before you know anything?"

"We are prepping him now, so I'm hoping within the next couple of hours."

"Thank you doctor."

As the doctor started to walk away, the nurse squeezed Kensi' left arm and said "Don't worry dear. I…I mean we are going to take very good care of him." She hurried down the hall to catch-up with the doctor, disappearing out of sight.

Kensi turned and moved toward the window and stared out completely oblivious of what was going on out there. Her thoughts were being consumed by one Marty Deeks.

"_I can't do this tonight, Deeks. I just can't. You need to figure out what you want."_

_She had left the house steaming and very confused._

'_I had finally found my resolve and wanted to move our relationship, thing, whatever he wanted to call it, forward and he's now the one shying away from the commitment. What the hell was going on? He was the one who was always so sure, leading the charge, now he does a one-eighty on me. What changed? Did that three hearts crap actually get to him?_

_It was all bullshit. Plain and simple. What did agent Angelo know about them anyway? He had just met them and he starts with this analogy on their relationship. What a pant load._

_Problem was, Deeks fell for it hard and now is being consumed by it. So much so that he had returned my knife. That really hurt. It actually rocked me back a bit, more so than any punch could have._

'_Well he better give this some serious thought because I know what I want and I know who I want.'_

_Why didn't he just trust his instincts? Why didn't he just trust me, trust in us?_

_We had built up this great relationship over the years and it was finally coming into its own. We were moving in the same direction, communicating better, well sort of. Can't expect miracles in that department, but still it was progress._

_And now?_

_Damn he can make me angry sometimes._

Kensi, being deep in thought, was unaware of the nurse standing nearby working on a chart. She witnessed and over heard the entire conversation with the doctor and was now making notes and watching Kensi as she stared off into space.

The nurse walked toward Kensi and brushed by her, purposefully making contact. She then continued down the corridor looking back at the federal agent twice before turning the corner out of sight. Kensi had no idea what had just happened. She was still thinking about Deeks and how they were all those years ago.


	3. Chapter 3

**Learning to Walk Again**

Chapter 3

Lucas Mitchell received the call from dispatch telling him at Deeks was at the hospital and that he should get there as soon as possible. Dispatch didn't provide any details, just that it was not work related. When Lucas heard this he was glad that his friend hadn't been shot, but what could it be? Deeks! In the hospital? What the hell was going on? He had noticed that Deeks seemed a little off lately but Lucas just chalked it up to the long hours and horrible food they kept shovelling down their throats. So what was it? He needed answers fast and getting to the hospital was his only priority now.

Calling the next senior officer over and placing him in charge, Lucas jumped into his car and drove like a fiend to the other side of the city. Deeks had become a good friend over the years, helping him and Sarah whenever needed. The kids loved Uncle Marty and would go crazy every time he came over for dinner or to babysit them. Lucas just could not imagine a life without his friend in it. He wasn't going to call Sarah until he had answers and knew what they were dealing with. Sarah had just lost her father a year ago and Marty was there helping in any way he could, especially with the kids. It was amazing what a calming presence he was to all of them.

Cross town traffic was horrendous, even with lights and sirens; it still took Lucas forty-five minutes to arrive at the hospital. Kensi spotted him coming down the hall and started walking toward him.

"Kensi? What are you doing here?" Lucas couldn't believe it. This day was just full of surprises, one after the other and so far none of them good.  
>"We were having lunch and everything was fine. He got a call to go out to a crime scene so we were on the way back to the station when he collapsed. The doctors are running a brain scan to try and figure out what's causing the pressure and seizure."<p>

"What pressure, what seizures? Brain scan? What the hell is going on?"

Lucas didn't react well when he wasn't in control of a situation. Answers, he needed answers and he needed them now.

Kensi could see what was happening and she had to settle him down. Grabbing the detective by the arm to get his attention, she spoke quietly to him.

"Lucas, look at me. Marty is with the doctors and they will take care of him. There is nothing we can do to help our friend right now. Once we know what we are dealing with, then we can all figure this out."

He seemed to relax, slowly dropping his shoulders and exhaling. "Okay so we wait." He walked over to the window and rubbed the back of his neck. Lucas Mitchell did not have a good feeling about this and unfortunately, he was never wrong. It was an intangible that made him a very good detective. Refocusing on the situation, his suspicious nature kicked in and he now wanted to know more about Kensi and why she was here.

"Marty is a really good friend of mine. What ever he needs, I'm going to be there for him. Can I ask why you were having lunch with him? I'm figuring the meeting at the bar was not by chance." Lucas picked up on things quick.

Kensi walked up and stood beside him so they were both looking out over the hospital grounds.

"Well…. I still consider Deeks a good friend of mine as well and I was hoping to talk to him and make things right between us. When he returned to LAPD, I wasn't here and we left a lot of things unsettled. I wanted to talk to him about…."

Kensi didn't finish the sentence. She couldn't. Not now.

"I just wanted to talk. Like friends do."

Lucas could tell that they had been more than just partners and friends and that whatever happened between must have been catastrophic for it to end this way. He wasn't about to push the agent if she didn't want to explain further.

"Kensi, I think it's going to be a rough ride for Deeks and that's a best case scenario. I don't need to know your business with him but we need to put all our efforts into getting him better again."

"You just don't want me making the situation worse with dumb bullshit from the past. Right?"

"That's not what I was thinking. We need to focus on him and making him healthy. I don't know how he is going to react when he finds out what he has."

Kensi nodded.

"He would talk about you every now and then, never by name or in great detail; just enough to give him that far away look in his eyes. The rest of the story would be played out in his head. I always figured that you were the one that got away and that it was too painful to relive."

Kensi knew exactly what he meant as those memories haunted her as well.

They both stood together at the window just staring off into space, lost in thought when they heard someone approaching them.

"Agent Blye." It was Dr. Noslo standing there behind them.

They both turned around and took a step toward the doctor.

"Yes. How is he?"

Dr. Noslo looked at Lucas and silently asked for an introduction.

"Hello I'm Detective Lucas Mitchell, LAPD and I'm Marty's partner." Kensi froze knowing she would have some explaining to do.

The doctor hesitated for a second looking at Kensi. "But she said she was his partner."

Thinking quick, Lucas came to the rescue "Well we both are, kind of. She is when Marty works with NCIS and when he is at LAPD, then, I work with him. He is a very busy man."

Kensi would thank Lucas later but for now they both wanted to know what the diagnosis was.

The doctor continued with her update. "We completed the brain scan and found the cause of the pressure. Mr. Deeks has a growth or lesion on the left side of his brain. We are going to begin a series of new tests to determine what we are dealing with and to help us with planning the appropriate method of treatment."

Kensi let out a small gasp as she raised her hand to her mouth and her eyes immediately began to tear.

"Oh my God." Was all she could say.

Lucas was in complete shock. He just stood and stared at the doctor with his mouth open.

"Yes I know how it sounds, but please don't jump to worse case scenario. Let us run the tests and analysis the results first. There are many different ways this can go and not all of them are as bad as you might think."

Dr. Noslo reached out and squeezed Kensi' arm before continuing.

"For now he is resting, we have him heavily sedated and we will keep him this way until the tests are complete. If you could please contact his family for us, we will need to speak to them as well."

Both Kensi and Lucas looked at each other and then back at the doctor. They both claimed to be his best friend yet neither of them knew very much about his family. A flash of fear appeared in their eyes and doctor didn't miss it.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, no. We will take care of that right away." Lucas jumped in when Kensi hesitated.

"Alright then, I need to get back to Mr. Deeks. Please have the family contact me once they arrive."

Walking away the doctor left Kensi and Lucas alone to process the request they had just received.

Taking out his phone, Lucas began to dial. "I'm going to call the station and get them to pull out Marty's file. He should have someone listed as his next of kin."

Kensi finally sat down to think. She should call the team and tell them of his condition and let them know she is not going to be coming in for a few days. If there was ever a time that Deeks needed someone to be with him, this was it. The team; that was his family for the longest time, but not so much now.

When she looked up Lucas was standing in front of her with a very puzzled look on his face.

"What is it? He does have family, doesn't he?"  
>"Marty's next of kin. Henrietta Lange and…and you."<p>

"What? Me? Are you sure?" Kensi' felt like she had just been hit by a truck. "That can't be possible. It must be a mistake."

"Yeah, the paper work we received from NCIS when he returned to LAPD had these two names only. Who is Henrietta Lange?"

Lucas waited for her to respond but she seemed to be frozen, just staring at the floor.

"Kensi, did you hear what I said? Who is Henrietta Lange?"

"What?... I'm sorry. Why would he…."

"I don't know why, but we need to contact this Lange person quickly. Do you know her?"

"Yeah… she was our boss. Retired a few years back, but I can still call her."

Kensi was floored. All systems were on over load and she needed time to get a handle on what was happening. 'Why' was running in a continuous loop in her head. Did he still care about her? Maybe he never stopped. Before those thoughts could take root, she noticed Lucas was speaking to her.

"Kensi…. Kensi, I think you and I need to get a coffee and just try to figure out what we can do for Marty. Come on, I know the way."  
>He took her elbow and helped her stand and then steered her in the right direction. They sat in silence for a few moments at a small corner table with their coffee and contemplating the situation. A small tear trickled down the side of Kensi face. The realization of what she had just learned was starting to sink in.<p>

"Deeks doesn't deserve this. He's a great guy."

"No one does." Offered Lucas.

After a few more minutes of silence they both looked at one another and knew that phone calls needed to be made so they stood up and moved slowly back to the waiting area leaving the coffees untouched.

Kensi called the team and gave them an update on his condition. Everyone offered to help in whatever way they could. They still considered him family and they would do anything for family.

The team was basically the same with a few slight changes. Hetty had "retired", if you can call it that. She still controlled what she needed to control and left the day to day running of the OSP to Callen. Nell was now in the field with another female agent and Eric, as always was taking care of all the ongoing operations from the control center. Nell and Eric were finally going to get married but a firm date still had not been set.

Sam now ran the team and had a new partner as well. They were finally settling in together, but it was a little rocky at first. When Kensi had returned she was only to stay a few months before heading overseas on a special mission directed by Granger, but that was shelved before she could leave, so Kensi became the fifth member of the squad, teaming up with G when ever needed. It actually worked out well as she filled in when Nell's partner was shot and when Sam was needed on a covert mission that required a deep cover for several months.

The first call Kensi made was to Hetty. After a few minutes of talking and crying Kensi hung-up, composed herself as best she could and then called Nell to tell her what was happening. Her long time friend consoled her somewhat by reminding her that she was here now and needed to be a strong force for Deeks.

Once she was done on the phone the agent walked over to Lucas who was sitting rather uncomfortably on one of the waiting room chairs. Looking up he could see she had been crying so me motioned to her to sit next to him. Dropping into the seat next to him Kensi exhaled and dropped her head down.

"Faith. We need to have faith." The detective took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm sorry. It's just this type of enemy is new to me and all my training is useless."

"We will all figure this out, Kensi."

She nodded and squeezed his hand before getting up.

Kensi needed to clear her head. "I'm going to get some air. If I'm not back before the doctor returns, please call me." They exchanged numbers and she headed for the exit.

The sun was still shining bright and it was another hot day in the city. She found some shade and sat herself down watching all the people passing by, tending to their daily business. This was not the case for Marty Deeks today. Life had dealt him a nasty blow and he was about to begin the toughest battle of his life, but not without help. She was determined to help him in any way she could and for as long as he would let her. Deeks was still her friend and she wasn't going to let him down. If he didn't want her helping him directly, then she was going to find a way to do it indirectly, without him knowing. Her mind was made up and that was that. She wasn't about to lose another friend, not if she could help it.

Walking around the hospital grounds Kensi found a quiet area with a cluster of trees and sat down. She leaned back, closed her eyes and rested the back of her head on the tree that was providing her the shade. She was soon transported back to the time she told Deeks she was leaving.

_Jack had been in contact with Kensi, just like he promised but things were getting worse for him and his daughter, not better. It soon became apparent to both Kensi and Hetty that he was in need of some help, the type of help that is not sanctioned by any governmental agency. This task was not as easy as picking him up at the airport so he could visit for a while. He needed to stay in Afghanistan, he wanted to stay in Afghanistan and he was going to stay in Afghanistan. The CIA was still pissed at Hetty for interfering with their plan in the first place. Hetty knew that the CIA had a long memory when it came to little things like this and they would be looking for pay back. Options were limited and possible personnel to carry out any assignment on foreign soil were even scarcer. _

_Kensi had not only volunteered for the mission, she helped put the plan together with Hetty and the team currently still stationed in Afghanistan. She was well aware of all the risks and that didn't bother her. She needed to help Jack now that she could. She had failed him all those years ago and it was something that still ate at her even to this day. Kensi so desperately needed to close this chapter in her life; it had been left open for far too long. The only way to find peace was to go back and ensure he could live his life as he wanted._

_What had her worried the most was how she was going to tell Deeks. There was no room for him or anyone else from the team on this mission. It was something she had to do, something she needed to do, something she must do and she must do it alone._

_It was obviously going to be a top secret mission and the fewer people that knew about it the better her chances for success were, but Deeks needed to know._

_She waited until the night before she was going to be deployed to tell him, maybe not the best idea she's ever had, but it was too late to change it now. Arriving at his place with beer and burgers she felt nervous and apprehensive. She knew it wasn't going to go well but she had to make him understand that this is what she wanted, that is was important to her._

_Once the news was out everything went south in a hurry. Deeks wouldn't listen to her; he stopped looking at her and just kept on repeating that she couldn't go, as he paced around the room. No matter how she tried to explain herself, he refused to listen. When he threw the beer bottle at the wall Kensi knew it was time to leave._

_Driving home, with tears running down her face, she could still hear his words, words that cut deep, deeper than any knife could._

"_Why are you going back? Does Jack mean so much more to you than me?"_

_He didn't hear her when she said no._

"_I nearly tortured a man to dead to find you. What do you expect me to do this time if you go missing?"_

_He didn't see her gasp and fall in to a chair in shock. He just kept staring at the floor and shaking his head back and forth._

"_Damn it Kensi! I can't let you go"_

"_Well you can't stop either. I need to do this."_

"_What am I going to do while you're gone? I don't think I'll survive this time._

_If you go I'm not sure I'm going to be here when you get back. I can't go through this again. I won't survive. We won't survive." _

_He took two steps and grabbed the beer off the counter and yelled "Daaaaaaamn!"_

_That was when the bottle hit the wall_

She opened her eyes and felt a tear slowly escape and make its way down her cheek. She blinked back a few more, rubbed her eyes with both hands and inched up the tree until she was standing. Taking a deep breath, she looked towards the hospital entrance and started walking. It was going to be a rough ride tonight, but she was ready for it.

Across the lawn, sitting on a bench, a woman was watching Kensi as she made her way to the doors. She continued to stare until Kensi disappeared into the hospital.

As Kensi entered the building a cold chill went right through her. She wasn't sure if it was from the air conditioning or fear of what the doctor was going to tell her. Steeling herself for the worst, she headed toward the waiting area to find Lucas.

Lucas looked up to see Kensi walking down the corridor toward him. While she was gone he called his wife and a few of Deeks' friends on the force. It was a short list but everyone on it cared for Marty and would do anything for him.

"Any word from the doctor?" Kensi was standing in front of Lucas now looking down at him as he sat.

"Nothing. Haven't seen her since she talked to us. I…..I called his friends. They all want to help. What ever he needs."

"Yeah, everyone on the old team said the same thing. I'm surprised they're not here already."

"Actually, a few of them are. They just headed down to grab a coffee. They should be right back."

She sat down next to Lucas and placed her head on his shoulder and asked.

"Please tell me he is going to be okay. I really need to hear that."

"He is one of the strongest people I know. He is going to fight this with everything he's got and we will all be there when he needs a little more. We must stay positive. That's all we can do for now." This was all he could say. It was all they could do until things changed. So they sat and waited.

* * *

><p>The doctor and nurse where approaching from a long hallway that was totally white in color. The floor tiles, walls and ceiling seemed very bright and in deep contrast to the two women that were the only objects in that space. As they neared the end of this hall Kensi began to realize what was splattered all over their uniforms – it was blood. A lot of deep red blood in fact. Warning bells began to ring in Kensi' head. This picture wasn't right.<p>

The amount of blood on their clothes was frightening and why are their heads down? Why won't they show their faces?

The closer the pair got to Kensi the more she began to panic. She blinked and they were standing directly in front of her. When they raised their heads to look at her she could see the tears streaming down their cheeks mixing with the blood.

"We tried our best." Said the doctor.

"We really did." Added the nurse.

"We tried and tried but it was no use." They both said in unison

"What…..What are you saying?" was all Kensi could get out. Confusion and fear began running rampant in her mind. The room began to spin as she tried to focus.

"He's gone. He didn't survive." Was the reply.

"No! That can't be true. You're lying." Fear had now taken over completely.

"I'm so sorry, but it is. He did not survive. You should have been there with him."

The nurse standing behind the doctor was now sobbing and had her face covered by her hands. The doctor just kept repeating "He didn't survive. You should have been there."

Kensi could feel herself getting dizzy as she stared at the doctor's mouth repeating those words as the room around them spun.

"No, no, no, he can be gone. He can't be gone.

Deeks…. DEEKS… DEEEEEEKS!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Learning to Walk Again**

Chapter 4

Kensi woke up screaming "DEEKS" and it scared the crap out of Lucas and the maintenance man working at the opposite end of the waiting room.

She was instantly on her feet, frantically looking around the room trying to focus and find the doctor. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she was shaking as she moved toward the hallway.

Lucas was up just as quick and caught her before she made it to the door.

"Kensi, it's alright. It was just a dream. You're fine.

Try and calm down and take a breath."

"Deeks. I need to find Deeks."

"They're still running tests on him. Doctor should be here soon. Can I get you anything?"

"Thank God it was just a dream. I thought he was…. it felt so real." Tears were forming in her eyes and she was covering her mouth with her right hand as she recalled the images in her dream.

"He's still here with us and we're going to keep it that way."

He put his arm around her shoulders and guided her back to the chair and sat her down.

"It'll be okay. Don't worry, I got you." Lucas gave her shoulder a small squeeze.

"Deeks would say that to me all the time. He protected me from everything he could, he always watched over me; saved me so many times I lost count."

"I know, that's just who he is. I'm sure it has a lot to do with his childhood and the way his father treated him and his mom. He has made it his life mission to help and protect anyone he can. I think it's our turn to protect him now."

Kensi was starting to calm down so she sat quietly next to Lucas and waited.

It was about eleven that night when the doctor returned. Kensi watched her slowly make her way down the corridor. She looked like hell but she had a faint smile across her face, or maybe she was just too tired to frown. The waiting room was almost empty. Lucas was still there of course with Kensi, but Callen, Sam and Nell all had left about two hours earlier. They were called back to OPS by Eric, a break in the case or a new lead, something that could not wait.

Dr. Noslo entered the waiting area just as Lucas was waking from a little cat nap. As he moved to stand, his back advised him that the chair he was sitting in was not his friend. Actually, this chair should be shot and put out of everyone's misery as soon as possible.

As Lucas did his impression of Quasimodo stretching, the doctor took a deep breath, rolled her head side to side to work out the knot and then looked directly at Kensi.

Chills ran up and down the agent's spine and her heart started to pound. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and rocked slowly back on her heels waiting. She knew this wasn't a dream.

"Well, it has been a long night, longer than anyone could have predicted. As the tests were being conducted he went into another seizure. We worked to stabilize Mr. Deeks so we could complete the tests but that was not possible."

Kensi' eyes widened and she held her breath waiting for the doctor to continue. Lucas was now standing just behind her and he reached up and placed his hand on her arm to steady her.

"The surgical team had no choice but to perform a craniotomy. Had we waited, we are not sure he would have survived another series of convulsions."

Kensi' legs started to wobble as she covered her mouth with her hand. Fortunately Lucas was there to support her as they continued to listen to the doctor.

"I have to tell you it was not an easy operation. We removed a section of his skull in order to reach the growth on the brain and successfully removed it. This was sent to the lab for testing and the results should be available in a day or so. For now we have him heavily sedated and in his own room up in Recovery. We will be continuous monitoring his vital signs for the next couple of days."

"Oh God. His brain? Will he…" Kensi didn't know what to think or what to ask. Panic was starting to take over and the only thing keeping her from a total meltdown was the fact that Lucas had a firm hold of her.

"It is going to be a very long road for him, but first we need to get through the night and hope the test results are good. So like I said before, let's not jump to worst case scenario."

"Thank you, doctor. When can we see him?" Lucas really wanted to see Deeks as soon as possible. He knew that most doctors never gave you the real picture or the entire story.

"Like I said, he is in Recovery but I have made arrangements with the staff to allow one of you to be with him through the night, if you want to stay. For now you both can see him for a few minutes. The nurse will take you up. I will be around to check on him tomorrow morning."

Kensi spoke first before Lucas could even open his mouth. "I can stay with him." She didn't mean to sound pushy but there was no way she was leaving the hospital.

Lucas was about to say something when the nurse that was standing behind the doctor asked them to follow her to Recovery and Deeks' room.

Lucas walked behind Kensi and the nurse trying not to picture what his best friend might look like after surgery. The road was going to be a bumpy one and hopefully Kensi will be an asset on that journey and not a road block. Lucas knew very little about her and their relationship and that was what was bothering him.

Arriving at the room the nurse entered first, but both Lucas and Kensi stopped at the door and looked at one another, not sure what to expect when they went in. Kensi entered first and braced for the worse.

Deeks was lying in bed and he looked very peaceful. His head was covered with a white bandage and there were a few tubes, including oxygen, but all in all, it didn't look as bad as they feared. There was a nurse going over his vital signs and checking the IV, drug in take and oxygen levels. She looked up and smiled at both of the visitors "He is under sedation. It could be a day or so before he comes around. There are a couple of chairs you can pull up to the bed." She pointed to the side of the room as she made the statement.

"Thank you" came the reply from the pair standing by the door.

"If you're quiet, you can both stay as long as you want. I know the doctor said just one, but it will our little secret." She smiled and winked at them as she left the room. "See you in a bit."

Kensi and Lucas smiled back and watch as the door closed behind the nurse.

"She seems very nice." Lucas was still looking at the door and hadn't moved further into the room.

Kensi nodded "uh-huh" as she moved toward the bed, never taking her eyes off Deeks. Pulling one of the chairs close to the bed, she sat down and took his hand in hers and gently held it. As far as she was concerned, she wasn't going to let go until he was better. A lot better.

Taking in a deep breath, she released it slowly to calm herself and started to take in every detail about him. She scanned the bandages covering his head wondering how much of his hair they removed; his face and how pale it was; the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. Little things that meant so much to her now.

As Lucas was watching her, he realized just how much she cared for Deeks. He walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"He is going to be okay. I don't know how I know, but I'm sure he is going to beat this."

"Well I'm going to make sure he fights this with everything he's got." Kensi squeezed Deeks' hand, fooling herself in believing that he could feel it and know it was her.

Around three in the morning, Kensi finally convinced Lucas to go home and get some rest. There wasn't much they could do for Deeks except watch him sleep. Of course she was going to stay and promised to call should anything change and especially if Deeks woke up.

The nurse was in and out all night at various times to check on her patient and make sure he was as comfortable as possible. Kensi drifted in and out of sleep but never let go of his hand.

When Hetty entered the room early that morning she witnessed a familiar sight and it brought back a flood of good memories. Placing the coffees on a small table, Hetty moved toward Kensi and lightly touched her face to wake her.

Opening her eyes, Kensi soon realized who was waking her and starting crying.

"He's hurt really bad Hetty. They operated on his brain. What….what if he doesn't know me, or any of us?"

"Kensi you need to have faith. He is being cared for by the best doctors in the country and he has always been very strong.

It looks like you could use a coffee, why don't you get up and stretch your legs."

"Thanks Hetty. How are you? I haven't seen you in months." Kensi finally released his hand and walked over to get the coffee. Hetty stepped closer and took a good look at Deeks.

"Busy overseas my dear, seems there is always something that requires my attention. I have a place in Switzerland and I have been staying there these past few months. I happen to be in Los Angeles visiting an old friend."

"Europe sounds very nice Hetty."

"Ms. Blye, you know you are always welcome."

"Maybe one day Hetty, maybe one day." Kensi was momentarily lost in the thought of a peaceful vacation in the Swiss Alps with…. She couldn't finish the image in her head; she was not going to do that to herself.

Looking around the room, Hetty closed her eyes for a second.

"I believe I need to speak to the doctor now."

Hetty ran her hand along Deeks' arm as she turned and walked to the door.

"I will be back shortly." As she exited the room, the nurse entered and began to check on her patient. She looked over and watched as Kensi, coffee in hand, sat back down and took his hand once again.

"How long have you two been together? I can see now much you care for him."

Before Kensi could even think how she was going to answer that question, the door opened again and in walked Callen.

"How is he doing? Any news from the doctors?"

"Nothing yet. Hetty just arrived and she went off to find Dr. Noslo.

Callen I need to talk to you."

She stood up and moved outside the room with G. This needed to be a private conversation.

Looking right into his eyes, she started.

"Callen, I need to take some time off. I want to be here for him. Deeks is going to require a lot of help to get through this. Lucas can only do so much. He has a family to look after as well."

G seemed sympathetic to the request "Okay, take a week to help him get settled, but then I want you back. I have a new agent that needs training and I've got you penciled in."

"You don't understand, I need a few months. Minimum."

"No…no… I can't have that. I need you at work. You gotta find another way. I'm sure there are plenty of nurses and care givers that you can hire to take care of him while you are at work."

Callen was serious and Kensi could see it.

"Okay. Here's another way: I quit."

She pulled out her gun and ID and handed them to a very stunned Callen adding "Take them. I'm done making the same mistakes over and over again."

Turning, she walked back into the room and sat back down taking Deeks' hand once again.

Talk about being blindsided, G felt like a quarterback who was just pounded into the ground by a blitzing linebacker. He had no words and wasn't about to get into a heated discussion with Kensi at this point in time. He decided that he would give her a few days to settle down and then re-visit this. She must be exhausted and not thinking straight, so he was going to give his friend some time, she deserved that much at least. He headed down the hall looking for Hetty to try and find out what she up to and who she was talking to.

Kensi didn't care about the job. At one time it was her life, when she younger and little more naive and it kept her from Deeks when he needed her most. This time was not going to be a replay of the Sidorov incident. She was here and she was staying until he was a hundred percent better.

About a half hour later Lucas walked in, opening the door slowly and moving quietly to stand next to the bed, opposite of Kensi.

"Any change from last night?"

"No. The nurse has been in and out about a thousand times, but no change. Just waiting for the doctor to show."

As she finished that sentence she felt a light twitch from Deeks' hand, then again a second later. A chill ran down her spine and she sat up straight staring at him.

"What is it?" Lucas knew something had changed.

"His fingers moved. Oh again! I think he's waking up."

They both watched as he moved his eye lids slowly, trying to will them to open. It was like they were made of lead and he just didn't have the power to raise them. As his eye lids lifted up and then down again, he squeezed his fingers around Kensi' hand, each time growing in strength. Finally Deeks opened his eyes fully and kept them open, looked around the room slowly, settling on Kensi. Her heart was pounding waiting for him to say something, anything.

Deeks opened his mouth, trying to speak but nothing. His throat was dry, it hurt and all he really wanted to do was sleep, but he was fighting it.

"I'm going to find the nurse." Lucas was moving toward the door but facing Deeks hoping his friend would utter a word or two. He was actually hoping it would be joke of some kind. But that was not going to be the case.

"Deeks, it's me Kensi. Do you want some water?" She was gently holding his hand and rubbing his arm as she was talking. He was trying his best to focus on her and what she was saying but it was so difficult and he didn't understand why. So he made another attempt and all he could squeeze out was "Kensi".

She took a deep breath to settle herself. "Yes it's me Deeks. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." She wasn't sure why she said that. Maybe to reassure herself more than Deeks that this was where she was going to be, no matter what.

There was a Styrofoam glass with water in it and a straw next to the bed, so Kensi moved to the other side to get it ready for him. She placed the straw on his lips for him to drink, but he couldn't.

"Ice chips will be easier and better for him now." It was the nurse entering the room with the doctor and Lucas right behind her.

"If you can give us a few minutes, please." Dr. Noslo wanted to examine Deeks so both Kensi and Lucas left the room to wait in the hall.

"I'm going to find some ice chips. I'll be right back." Lucas nodded and watched her as she moved down the corridor looking for the nurse's station. As Kensi passed one of the open rooms the woman that was watching her yesterday outside the hospital stepped into the hall and began to slowly follow Kensi.

As she approached the counter, see could see a nurse working at a monitor.

"Excuse me, where can I get ice chips?"

Without raising her head from the computer screen, the nurse pointed towards the stairs and said "One floor down, end of the hall. Kitchenette with an ice machine." The raised arm covered her face from Kensi and allowed the nurse to continue to access the system for the information she needed. A smile formed on her face as the screen displayed what she was searching for.

So Kensi headed towards the stairs with the woman still following her. Kensi had seen her coming down the hall so she quickly ran down the steps and entered the next floor. Checking the area for people, she instinctively reached for her gun, forgetting she had given it to Callen. "Crap. So it's going to be mano a mano then." Finding the first empty room, Kensi ducked in and waited. A few seconds later as the woman walked by the open door, Kensi reached out and dragged her into the room, throwing her to the floor and closing the door behind her all in one motion.

Just as Kensi was about unleash a flurry of punches, the lady raised both arms in front of her face to protect herself and yelled "Stop! Stop! It's me…."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the delay in the updates. I was trying to get them out every week, but stuff happens.<strong>

**Thanks for following. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Learning to Walk Again**

Chapter 5

Lucas was standing outside the door waiting, somewhat impatiently for the doctor to complete the examination. He wanted news, good news about his friend. Neither he, nor his wife slept at all last night, they talked about Deeks, his current situation and what they could do to help. They both agreed that they were going to be there for him, no matter what he needed. As Lucas leaned against the wall, arms crossed, he watched as a small older woman approach him. Who the hell is this? He thought.

"Detective Lucas Mitchell, I'm Hetty Lange. Very nice to meet you." Extending her hand and a smile she waited for him to take it.

He hesitated for just a second, wondering how she knew who he was.

"Yes, nice to meet you as well. You're the one listed as his next of kin along with Kensi."

"Indeed I am Mr. Mitchell. How is our patient doing?"

"He started to come out of it a few minutes ago, that's why the doctor is in there with him now. I'm praying for him and some good news."  
>"We all are Mr. Mitchell, we all are. May I wait with you?"<p>

"Of course, I would enjoy the company. Can I ask you a question?"

"I believe you just did and yes, please continue."

Lucas was stymied for just a second but then pressed on.

"Ms Lange, why did Deeks leave NCIS?" Lucas was fishing for more information on the relationship between Kensi and Deeks. It was like an itch he couldn't reach to scratch.

"Well Mr. Mitchell, please call me Hetty and that question will be best answered by Mr. Deeks. You should really ask him."

Lucas knew it was a long shot, but he had to take it. "Thanks, I will. Just need him to wake up first."

"I think it is time to speak with the doctor." Hetty pushed the door open and entered the room with the detective right behind her.

Kensi had her fist back ready to let fly when she stopped and took a good look at the woman on the floor, with her arms up and yelling at her to stop.

"Talia? What the hell. Why are you following me?"

"Nice to see you too Kensi. Mind if I get up?"

Kensi straightened up, extended her hand and helped Talia to her feet.

"Sorry, I thought…. Never mind. What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I thought I saw you yesterday outside but I wasn't sure it was you. It's been a long time." Talia was dusting herself off as she spoke.

"Yes it has, too long for all of us. So what's the deal with you being here at the hospital?"

Kensi was re-focusing and interested in why Talia was there.

"One of my agents just had surgery, nothing too complicated and I was just visiting him. As I was leaving the room I thought I spotted you walking down the hall. I wanted to say hello but I needed to be sure it was you."

"Well I guess you're sure now." Talia smiled as she knew there was no denying that.

"So why are you here Kensi? Everything alright?"

The change to Kensi' face told Talia that everything was not alright and that it was something serious.

"Tell me Kensi. What is?" She said this in a much softer voice and with genuine concern as she touched Kensi' arm.

"It's Deeks. He… he….. he's not well."

"Oh my God. What happened? Can I see him?"

Kensi was starting to breakdown again. There was a time when she would not let anyone see her so emotional, so weak, especially about Deeks, but those days are gone. Talia moved closer and took Kensi into a big hug.

The DEA agent knew that they were no longer together but she also knew that the bond between them had always been strong.

"Its okay let it out. You can tell me when you're ready."

As Talia was consoling Kensi, the door opened and in walked an Orderly with a big smile on his face and singing to himself. When he saw the two women in the middle of an embrace, total shock took over and he began to stammer as he backed out of the room.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know the room was… oh my…. these rooms aren't to be used that way…. this… this…is a hospital not a motel. I can't believe people just do it everywhere….no… no… no. I ain't cleaning that room. No way"

Both Kensi and Talia couldn't help but laugh. The timing was absolutely perfect and it broke the tension of the moment. Talia took a good look at Kensi, brushed back a strand of hair from her face and said "It's going to be okay."

"I'm praying it will but I don't know."

Kensi wiped the tears from her face with the palm of her hand and took a deep breath.

"Thank you. Come on, I'll take you up to see him. But first I need ice."

As they made their way back up to Deeks' room, Kensi explained to Talia what had happened and about the surgery.

* * *

><p>Hetty and Lucas were standing next to Deeks when the door opened and the two ladies walked in.<p>

"How is he doing?" Kensi could see that he was asleep again and was a little disappointed and concerned at the same time.

"The doctor is happy with his progress so far, but we are still waiting for news from the lab. Hopefully it will be this afternoon." Lucas was staring at Talia and wondering who exactly this was and why she was here.

"Hetty you remember Talia from the DEA?"  
>"Yes, nice to see you Ms. Del Campo." Hetty remembered her very well.<p>

Lucas had almost a knowing look on his face as he stared at Talia. "You wouldn't happen to be Marty's secret contact over at the DEA would you?"

"We do cooperate every once in a while. And you are?"

"I'm sorry, this is Detective Lucas Mitchell LAPD. He's Deeks' partner." Kensi jumped in with the final introduction.

"Not what I pictured, but okay." It was Talia's turn to have a knowing look on her face.

As Kensi watched the two shake hands she was hit by a thought: did Deeks and Talia ever date while she was away? But as soon as that thought entered her head it was gone. Kensi needed to focus on the detective lying in that bed fighting for his life, not who he dated over the last few years.

She walked over to the side of the bed and took his hand once again. Talia was behind her with one hand on the bed touching the side of Deeks' leg. The DEA agent needed a physical connection to him, just seeing her friend was not enough. Over the last few years Deeks and Talia had become good friends working together on numerous operations. Even though they went out to dinner the odd time, they never dated. Maybe it was mutual respect for one another, or something else. Whatever it was, they were both happy with being friends and colleagues.

"How's the rest of the team? Sam and Callen, right?"

Before Kensi could answer, the door opened and as if right on cue, both G and Sam entered the room followed by Nell and Eric. From the looks on all their faces, they all seemed a little surprised that they were all there and that they actually fit into the room.

Lucky the nurse didn't come in to check on Deeks or they all would have been ushered out of the room fast.

Callen spoke for the group as he made his way over to the bed.

"We're not going to stay long. We just wanted to see how he's doing. Hetty called this morning and filled us in on the surgery."

"The doctor is keeping him sedated for a while longer. It's going to be a long recovery period so we need to be very patient and not expect too much too fast." Lucas was looking a Kensi when he said this but she didn't notice as her eyes were fixed on her ex-partner.

Hetty however did notice.

"Ms. Blye, may I have a word with you please."

Kensi didn't hear the request; her focus was on the white bandages and the person wearing them.

"Ms. Blye?"

Talia tapped Kensi' arm to get her attention. "Kensi, are you okay?"

"Yes…. fine. What is it?"

"Hetty wants to speak with you. Don't worry; I'll keep an eye on him." Talia had stepped aside to allow Kensi to follow Hetty out of the room.

"How is she holding up Lucas?" Sam was concerned about his fellow agent.

"So far so good. She seems to be in control for now, but Deeks isn't out of the woods yet. We'll see what the doctor has to tell us later today."

"Please keep a close eye on her for us. She has had a rough few months." Sam, always the big brother, was going to make sure she got through this as well. It wasn't only Deeks that needed mending; Sam knew Kensi needed help as well.

"You have our numbers, call any time, day or night." Callen added.

"We better get going G." Sam was already heading for the door. Callen followed with both Eric and Nell stopping at the foot of the bed to for a second to give Deeks once more look before falling in line and leaving as well.

Talia knew she had better go as well; the case she was working on needed her attention. She decided that she would return over the next few days and check-in on her friends. From the sounds of the conversation she had just heard, Kensi was hurting too and could use just a friend.

"Lucas, nice to finally meet you. Funny Deeks always described you as short, fat and bald. I wonder why?" She smiled and winked at him as she moved towards the door.

Lucas couldn't help but laugh. Even in a coma, Deeks could still find a way to throw a jab at him.

Hetty and Kensi had found a quiet corner of the lounge to talk.

"I understand that you are taking some time off to help Mr. Deeks with his recovery."

"I guess you can say that." Kensi wasn't sure if Callen had told Hetty that she had resigned. "I want to help him Hetty."

"Well I think it is a splendid idea. He most definitely will need someone to look after him and I know of no one better than you."

"Thank you Hetty. I hope he sees it that way too." Kensi prayed Deeks would let her be a part of his recovery.

"Kensi, I have taken the liberty of opening one of my residences here in Los Angeles for Mr. Deeks to use while he is recovering. It is in a very quite area not too far from the ocean. It will be fully equipped with the medical supplies he will need and I have arranged for a nurse to visit him everyday for the first couple of weeks after he is released."

Kensi wasn't sure what to say. She had figured on staying at Deeks' apartment and sleeping on his couch.

"It is a very modest home with plenty of room for both of you to stay comfortably. You are welcome to stay as long as you wish."  
>"Hetty, I don't know what to say, but are you sure he will accept your offer? He can be very stubborn at times." Kensi was worried a change of this magnitude might upset her ex-partner. They were taking him out of his home and she would be living with him twenty-four  seven. It might be too much change for him to handle.

"Ms. Blye, please leave that to me. You must concentrate on only Mr. Deeks from now on."

She took Kensi' hand and gave it a squeeze. "Walk out with me. I have an appointment I must attend."  
>As they walked down the corridor they past the nurse's station again but this time there was no one at the desk.<p>

Since Deeks was resting and everyone else had left the room, Lucas decided he would run down and grab a coffee for Kensi and himself. He was going to convince her to go home, get some rest, shower and eat. Not necessarily in that order, but she needed a break and this was a good time to take it. Deeks would be under sedation for hours and there was little to do here at the hospital. Besides, the doctor and nurses are taking very good care of him for now. The challenge would be in the coming days when he will be released and all these people wouldn't be around to help.

But first things first, so as Lucas headed for the coffee shop on the main floor he pulled out his phone and called home. He wanted to give Sarah an update, he knew how she worried and any new information, no matter how little, was better than nothing.

As he entered the elevator, he heard "Hey, hold that car." It was Talia coming down the hall. Holding the doors open, she got on as well and they headed down to the lobby together.

"Heading back to the office?"

"Yea, the paper work never ends."

"Don't I know it."

The doors opened and off she went.

* * *

><p>The nurse watched as the detective walked down the hall, phone in hand, punching in numbers. As she watched, she continued to pick-up the items she needed to put her plan into effect. It was going to be quick and easy. Grab a new syringe from the supply locker and then fill it with Pavulon. Once injected into the IV, it should do the trick.<p>

She checked the schedule and confirmed that the doctor or nurse would not be coming back for at least another hour. Everyone was out of the room so this was the perfect time, but she needed to act fast.

Walking purposefully down the hall she nodded hello to a passing fellow nurse as she made her way to the room. Her right hand was in her pocket holding the syringe that would deliver the fatal dose. She seemed please with herself for acting on the luck that had befallen her. She loved her little brother more than life itself and now it was time to make them pay for what they did. The more she remembered the last time she saw her brother the stronger her resolve became. She would not be denied her pound of flesh.

As she neared the door, her gateway to revenge, a doctor was just leaving one of the adjacent rooms and was heading in her direction.

"Don't panic. Stay cool." She whispered under her breath.

"Doctor." Was all she said as he passed by with his nose in a chart, scribbling something on the paper. He didn't even acknowledge her presence, let alone look at her as he continued down the hall.

"Bastard. Well he'll know who I am soon enough." She clenched here teeth as she spoke those words into her chest. She made it to the door and pushed her way in using her shoulder.

The room was quite except for the monitors making their little beeping sounds. She grinned knowing that soon those same monitors would be wailing like sirens but by then it would be all over. She pulled out the gloves from her other pocket and put them on. No need to leave finger prints, we can't make this too easy for them.  
>Walking over to the side of the bed with the IV pole she ran her hand along the edge of the bed.<p>

"I hope you can hear me you filthy pig. It's your turn to pay for your actions just like you made my brother pay for his. He was just a kid that got in with the wrong crowd, but did you listen? Did you even give him a chance?"

She pulled the needle out of her pocket and waved it in front of his face as if he could see it. It's too bad he can't see it coming she thought, but then again her brother didn't see it coming either.

Opening the flow valve on the IV tube to maximum, she inserted the syringe into the injection port and slowly pushed the liquid into the line. Quickly turning she exited the room and headed down the stairs leaving the hospital. All hell was about to break loose and she didn't want to be any where near this place when that happened.

Kensi and Lucas were just getting off the elevator when they heard the code blue being announced over the PA system. Both dropped their coffees and began to run down the hall right behind the throng of nurses and doctors that were responding.

Kensi' heart was in her throat, tears were already running down her face.

It couldn't be she thought. He was fine just five minutes ago.

Lucas just kept running and repeating "No…no…no….no…no"


End file.
